


According To Your Heart

by Lovelyyluciddreams



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Dirty Talk, First Time with a guy, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, J2, Jensen is a little demanding, M/M, No Kids - Freeform, SUPER CHEESY, Wincest-but only in a dream, bed sharing, m/m - Freeform, they are not married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-11-05 22:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17927960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovelyyluciddreams/pseuds/Lovelyyluciddreams
Summary: Jared and Jensen are best friends, everyone knows that. It’s no secret. Jared has a dream about Dean that leaves him confused about his feelings. When Jensen finally gets it out of him, he has some confessions of his own. Where will that leave them?Warning: wincest plays a small part in this (but only in a dream)





	1. You Said Someday We Might...

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to FallingForYou by The 1975 way too many times while writing this....and you should too.

  
*Dean throws Sam on the car – boys continue to wrestle*

  
That’s what the script said, nothing in detail, meaning they had to come up with how this went down. They both really liked the writers leaving things up to them. Letting them take the lead on something, and wrestling? Well that’s always fun.

They tried a few takes, a few different ways. But couldn’t get it exactly how they both wanted it. Jared rubbed his hand over his back, wondering to himself how many times he was going to get thrown down on the unforgiving hood of the Impala.

“Take 12 and action” a voice shouted from behind them.

Jensen grabbed the front of Jared’s shirt not letting go, shoving him back onto the hood. Jensen landed across Jared’s chest, letting out a growl in his face.

“Dean! Stop it! You’re under a spell, there has to be a hex bag on you” Jared shouted, kicking his leg out and losing his footing. Sending them both sliding to the pavement. Jared pulled his hands in and out of Jensen's pockets searching for the tiny pouch that contained the spell.

“Sammy stop, I love her” Jensen screamed in his best ‘Dean voice’.

After some flailing around Jared ended up between Jensen's knees with his back resting against the older man’s chest. Jensen wrapped an arm around Jared's neck, putting him in a choke hold. He did realize they were just acting, and he didn’t have to choke him for real…right!? Jared gripped Jensen's arm trying to pull it off.

“I’m sorry Sammy I just love her so much” Jensen's warm breath hit Jared's ear and he suddenly felt like he was going to faint. Jared hit Jensen's arm, tapping out, letting him know that he couldn’t breathe. For more reasons than one. Once Jensen loosened his grip Jared shoved him down on his back, straddling him. Jensen pushed at Jared's chest as Jared dug through his pockets.

“I got it!!” Jared yelled tossing the little bag to the side.

“CUT! We got it. Nice work guys!”

Jensen let his head fall back on the ground his chest was heaving. Jared looked over him carefully. His shirt was hiked up from all the struggling, breath faster than normal, cheeks red, mouth open, laying there on the ground between Jared's legs. The things he suddenly wanted to do to the man under him.

Jensen leaned up on one elbow placing a hand on Jared's knee “you can get off me now Jay, unless you’re enjoying the view.”

Jared snapped back to reality with the sound of Jensen's voice. He quickly scooted backwards to get off his friend. “right yeah sorry, I got distracted” Jared rushed.

Jensen gave him a pointed look, standing up, offering a hand to help him up. “by what?” he questioned. Jared shook his head taking Jensen's hand, being pulled to his feet.

“What?” Jared asked confused.

Jensen rolled his eyes “you said you got distracted, I said by what” Jensen waved his hand around in front of Jared's face.

Jared looked at him, his eyebrows knitted together “I did?”

Jensen nodded at him slowly, putting his hand over Jared's chin and moving his face side to side looking over him dramatically “you okay Jay?”

Jared laughed, playfully swatting his hand away “I’m fine.”

***

Jensen was finally done shooting a little after 2AM. He opened the door to Jared's trailer to see him slouched down sleeping in his recliner. He debated on waking him up to head home. But it was late, and they had to be back early for more shooting. He knew if he left him there his back would be fucked up in the morning. He walked to the back of the trailer, pulling the covers down on the king-sized bed, tiptoeing back to the living room area.

“Jay?” he whispered. Jared didn’t move. “Hey…” he tried again, his voice still quiet. He squatted down in front of the younger man. He looked so innocent like this, he hated having to wake him up. But he would thank him later. Jensen reached out and ran his hand over Jared's arm lightly “hey, come on get up and go to bed” Jared opened his eyes and looked over Jensen. Still clearly half asleep. Jensen took his hand and pulled him up “come on man, bed” Jensen spoke lightly. Jared let himself be pulled into the bedroom.

“Sit” Jensen insisted his voice soft, yet still demanding.

Jared fell back on the bed, flinching “my back is fucked” he mumbled.

Jensen nodded as he worked at unlacing Jared's ‘Sam boots.’ He pulled both boots off and tossed them to the side before swinging Jared's legs on to the bed “I know, I’m sorry what can I do?” Jensen stood waiting for a reply.

Jared sat up and pulled his shirt over his head mumbling something about the ‘stupid car’ before throwing himself back down on his stomach.

Jensen shifted nervously. “Okay, well I’ll be on the couch if you need something” his voice trailed off as he turned to head for the living room.

Jared opened his eyes “Jen?”

“Yes Jared?” he said leaning on the door frame.

“Stay with me please? Its more comfortable anyways” Jared whined, his back throbbing.

Jensen nodded, even though Jared wasn’t looking at him “sure Jay, be right back.”

 

Jensen turned all the lights out and locked the door before heading back to the bedroom “you’re sure you don’t need anything?” he asked, pulling his shirt off and draping It over the chair.

Jared patted the bed next to him “just you” he whispered groggily.

Jensen shook his head. “big baby” he joked, glancing over the taller man’s back. Jensen cringed. The small amount of light that was shining through the small window was dancing over Jared's tan skin. He could already see the bruise starting to form up his spine. Jensen laid down next to him lightly tracing his fingers over the mark, receiving a small noise. “Fuck, Jay I’m so sorry” Jensen whispered.

“Not your fault” Jared turned his head to face him.

“It is though” Jensen protested, moving his hand up to rest on Jared's face.  
Jared reached over laying his arm across Jensen's stomach “go to sleep Jen.”

***

Jensen woke to a heavy weight across his chest and a face full of long hair. Jared had himself draped over Jensen, with his leg slotted between Jensen's knees.  


_‘Okay?’_ Jensen thought to himself as he brushed Jared's hair out of his own face. He tried to scoot up to get more comfortable but Jared's already firm grip on him tightened silently begging him to stay put. Jensen let out a small breath. Fine. Then he would just wait for the alarm to go off.

Jared moved slightly, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like ‘Dean please.’ His words lightly ghosting over Jensen's naked torso. Jensen felt panic start to set in as a small whine escaped Jared's lips. The younger man moved closer rolling his body forward.

“Jay…wake up please” Jensen scrunched up his face. He could feel the length of his friend’s dick pressing into his hip. Jensen shifted uncomfortably. His own jeans starting to feel a little tight across the front.

“Jared, wake up now!” Jensen shouted, shoving at Jared's hips.

Jared woke up abruptly, quickly realizing what was going on. He flung himself on to his back to get away from Jensen “Fuck!! I’m sorry Jen” he gasped.

Jensen glanced over him, observing his red cheeks. “Did you just hurt your back?” he asked worried, forgetting all about the position he was in less than 30 seconds ago.

“It’s fine” Jared shook his head, refusing to look at him.

Jensen's face softened, “let me see.”

“Jen it’s really not that bad” he scuffed.

Jensen sat up pushing up on Jared's waist “then let me see it” Jared finally rolled over. Jensen ran his fingers over the purpled skin and shook his head. “I’m calling us out for the day, you’re not working like this” he declared, reaching for his phone.

***

They both had their coffee, got dressed and had a chat with a few of the crew members. A few hours later they climbed into Jensen's truck because Jensen had insisted _‘Jared, I’m not letting you drive like this and I’m not taking no for an answer get in the fucking truck.’_

Once parked in Jared's driveway, Jensen got out walking up to the door with Jared.

“You don’t need to stay…it’s a bruise” Jared rolled his eyes.

“Bullshit! Open the damn door Jay. This whole thing is my fault” Jensen threw his hands up, more annoyed at himself than anything else.

Jared shrugged and unlocked the door, letting them both in. Jared kicked his boots off and turned to face Jensen who was watching him nervously, as if he was going to shatter with one wrong move.

“I’m not going to snap in half Jensen calm down, and for the last time, you didn’t do this…Dean did” Jared smirked.

Jensen rolled his eyes walking to the kitchen to get some beers, an ice pack, and a towel to wrap around it. He wandered back to the living room holding out the open beer to Jared.

“Dude. It’s like 10A.M” Jared accused, taking the beer anyways.

Jensen shook the ice pack at him, taking a sip of his own beer “you’re injured, it’s a pain killer” he stated unaffectedly.

Jared laughed “yeah? So, what’s your excuse?”

“Moral support?” he shrugged “get your shirt off”

Jared raised his eyebrows at him playfully “wow Jen that’s awfully forward of you” he pointed out, pulling his shirt off and tossing it to the ground.

Jensen scuffed at him as he set his beer down. He wrapped the towel around the ice pack and held it gently on Jared's back.

“That’s cold!!” he whined.

Jensen leaned forward to meet his eyes, giving him a pointed look “that’s the point idiot, now hold still.”

Jared leaned down, so that his head was resting in his hands.

“Hey, so I have a question for you” Jensen mumbled, after several moments of silence. He couldn’t take it anymore. It had been driving him crazy all morning.

Jared rolled his head to the side to face him “okay?”

Jensen cleared his throat. He directed his attention back to the bruise, fussing with the towel. “this morning…what were you dreaming about?”

“Why?” Jared tensed.

Jensen forced a smile “just wondering.”

“Uhh” Jared sat up taking the ice pack from him “it was about Gen, more beer?” he stated rushed. Heading out of the room.

***

Several beers down and the credits were rolling on another old football movie. They had gotten more comfortable. Jensen was slouched down on the couch with his feet perched up on the coffee table while Jared was laid out on his side, his head in Jensen's lap.

“How are you feeling?” Jensen asked running his fingers through Jared's hair.

Jared looked up at him with a sleepy smile “pain killers are working like a charm.”

Jensen nodded.

“Jensen, why did you ask me what my dream was about?” he hadn’t even really meant to say that out loud, it was more of a thought.

The older man leaned his head back against the couch looking at the ceiling. “Honestly?” he cringed, wishing Jared wouldn’t have asked. Wishing _HE_ wouldn’t have asked.

Jared waited, not saying anything just looking up at him.

“You squeezed my side and then said something that made me wonder.”

Jared's stomach dropped. He sat up looking at him nervously “what uh...what did I say?” he made an uncomfortable face.

Jensen looked at him and laughed awkwardly “Dean...” he whispered “you said Dean please” speaking a little louder the second time.

The taller man’s eyes widened, he slapped his hands down on his own legs. “I think I need another drink” he squeaked out nervously before heading out of the room.

Jensen watched him walk away. He wanted to know, but maybe he didn’t. Maybe he should just leave it alone. But he was drunk, and he knew he wasn’t going to. He _needed_ to know.

Jared came back in the room with two beers and a bottle of Jack. He set the beers down and unscrewed the lid of the whiskey taking a long sip. He made a dissatisfied face and reached for his beer trying to uncap it…then failing. He handed it to Jensen and waited.

Jensen uncapped the bottle and handed it back smirking at him “hitting the hard stuff so early Sammy?” his voice a few octaves deeper than usual.

Jared coughed, beer dribbling down his chin. “Why did you call me that?” he questioned as his cheeks heated up.

“You called me Dean this morning sooo…” he raised his eyebrows at him. Jensen didn’t really know what he was doing, or why he was pushing him so much. But Jared was clearly getting flustered with him so he would call that a win. Getting each other all bothered was definitely a big part of their friendship. Everything always had some kind of sexual undertone.

“You’re not going to leave it alone are you?” Jared asked seriously.

“Probably not, anyways I think I already know” He smiled, wrapping his lips around the beer bottle taking the neck of the bottle just a little to far into his mouth before pulling it back out slowly to take a drink.

Jared blinked at him, his face flushing.

“You’ll tell me eventually” Jensen shrugged.

Jared scuffed at him “don’t be so sure.” Jensen placed his bottle down on the table and cracked his knuckles.

“So, then it wasn’t about Gen” he glared playfully.

Jared looked taken back “what? No, I said it was!”

Jensen nodded “right, but I also said you would tell me eventually, and you said ‘don’t be so sure’ so if you already told me. Why would you say that if you already told me huh Sam?” he wagged a finger at him with a smug smile on his lips.

Jared rolled his eyes “I’m not going to tell you Jensen.”

Jensen leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes and folding his arms across his chest “okay Sammy.”

“Stop calling me that!” Jared swatted at his friend’s leg.

Jensen rolled his head to the side giving his friend a suggestive look “stop having sexual dreams about Dean, and I’ll stop calling you Sammy” he winked at him.

Jared threw his hands up annoyed “it was one time!!!” he argued, his face going white as soon as he realized what he just said.

“HA! I knew it! So then is it all Dean? Or is it the handsome guy that plays him too?”

Jared shook his head “fuck shut up dude, you’re so full of yourself” he teased taking another sip of Jack.

“Apparently you’re full of me too” he said smugly making Jared choke. “oh, come on that’s not what I meant” Jensen protested.

Jared raised his eyebrows at him.

“Hey hey hey don’t turn this around on me man, you’re the one having dreams about Dean dicking you down” he mocked, glancing down at his watch and yawning. “Is 3 to early for bed?” he asked standing up and heading In the direction of the hall.

Jared barked out a laugh “you’re trying to get in my bed now?”

“I was going to the guest room, but if that’s where you want me then I’ll go to your room instead” he yelled back over his shoulder.

Jared shook his head and followed him down the hall to his room. He stood in the door way leaning on the frame watching Jensen try to get comfortable.

“You gunna stand there an’ watch me sleep? I gotta say Jay, that’s a little creepy even for you” Jensen teased, his accent slipping out as he yawned.

Jared ignored him as he walked over to pull some clean clothes out of his dresser “going to shower really quick” he stated, heading for the en-suite bathroom.

***

Jared let the warm water rush over him hoping his sinful thoughts about Dean would wash off him and slip down the drain. Maybe he would feel better if he just told Jensen about it, or maybe Jensen would wake up from his nap and forget all about it. He rubbed a hand over his neck. He could almost still feel Dean’s arm there, holding him tight against his hard chest. The steam mimicked Dean’s breath against his ear. Jared shivered. “God damn it” he cursed under his breath.

He didn’t even like men, he wasn’t gay, and neither was Dean. But he could appreciate a man’s body and still be straight right? Especially men who were tall, handsome, had glowing green eyes, chiseled abs and full pouty lips… oh god those lips. He rolled his eyes at himself.

This was stupid, it was just a dream. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. He ran his hand down his chest _‘fuck what am I doing?’_ he thought before gripping himself tightly.

_~~~_

_Dean pulled his shirt off and reached down unbuttoning his jeans doing the same to Sam. He shoved Sam backwards onto the the dingy hotel room bed, diving down and kissing him. Dean bit down on Sam’s bottom lip, grinding his hips down into him “tell me what you want Sammy” he growled._

_Sam whimpered under him, thrusting his hips up._

_“Answer me Sammy” Dean’s voice shook through him._

_“You” Sam whispered._

_Dean sat up pulling Sam’s jeans and boxer briefs off in one quick motion, before kicking his own to the floor “you want me to fuck you?” He asked, biting the younger man’s collar bone._

_Sam nodded “yes.”_

_Dean wrapped a hand around Sam’s throat “beg me Sammy, beg me to fuck you” he spit through gritted teeth._

_Sam whined “Dean... please.”_

_~~~_

Jared came, spilling over his hand and down the drain. His breath catching in his throat. In that moment he realized something. After the ‘Dean clothes’ had been discarded on to the floor, it was just Jensen. **_Jensen’s_** eyes staring down at him, **_Jensen’s_** body hovering over him and worst of all… all those filthy words came from **_Jensen’s_** mouth. It was _**Jensen**_ he was dreaming about, not just Dean. It was his best friend.

He was fucked.

Jared sighed stepping out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his hips. He heard a knock at the door.

“You okay? It’s been an hour” Jensen’s voice rang out muffled by the door.

Jared started panicking. As if, if he answered that door Jensen would know what he was thinking.

The door handle rattled “Answer me Jared!” Jensen growled.

Jared covered his ear _‘answer me Sammy’_ Jared felt chills running down his spine.

“Alright move if you can ‘cause I’m breaking the door down” Jensen yelled.

Jared quickly rushed to open the door “I’m okay” he spoke, his chest heaving. The steam from the bathroom rushed out being replaced with cold air. Making him shiver. “I’m fine.”

“Dude what the fuck I was freaking out” Jensen lightly shoved Jared’s chest, leaving his hand there “I don’t care if you’re in here jerking off or whatever you do fucking answer me man I was worried!” Jensen’s voice came out deep, and Jared could practically feel it vibrate through him from where his hand was still pressed to his chest.

Jared’s eyes widened “I um… I wasn’t.”

Jensen patted his arm “whatever man, as long as you’re okay, do you mind getting me some clothes?” He pulled his shirt over his head “I need to shower too.”

Jared stood there frozen watching him as he undid his belt, popping open the button on his jeans and pushing them down the smallest amount before looking back up to him.

“Jay, what’s wrong?”

Jared’s eyes shot up “yeah yeah sorry I’m just... I can... I..” he pointed to the bedroom tripping over his words.

“Distracted again?” Jensen finished for him, smirking.

Jared laughed awkwardly “uh I’ll get you some clothes” he said as he rushed out of the room.


	2. I'll Take It One Day At A Time...

It had been a long week, full of fight scenes, drama, and pure awkwardness. Ever since Jared became aware of this ‘problem’ all he wanted to do was stay as far away from Jensen as possible. That is until he was away from him, then all he wanted was to be close to him. He was seriously conflicted. Jensen knew something was up with him too, he was one drink away from a full-on intervention.

They had gone out with a few guys from the crew. Jared was acting weird, again. Normally he would hang off Jensen like an oversized monkey. He was a touchy-feely guy. Especially when he was drinking.

They've been joined at the hip for now close to 14 years. Jared was always handsy with him. But not right now, he was next to him yes. But the two inches of space between their legs and the fact that Jared had his hands on the table and not on Jensen told him there was something really wrong.

Jensen grabbed Jared’s face turning his head to whisper in his ear “what’s wrong?”

Jared’s whole body tensed “I have to go to the bathroom.” He yelped. Standing up and rushing away.

“What’s with him?” Misha asked concerned.

Jensen shrugged. “I don’t know, he’s acting weird around me” he groaned “I don’t know what to do.”

“Go after him” Misha waved his hand towards the bathroom.

Jensen stood up and brushed himself off “Yeah…alright.” His voice trailing off.

He opened the door to find Jared splashing water on his face. Jensen walked up behind him, placing his hands on his shoulders rubbing at them.

“Fuck Jen! You scared me.”

Jensen turned him around, so they were facing each other. He reached up wiping a few water droplets off Jared’s cheek with his thumb. Jared closed his eyes and scrunched up his face, flinching away.

“Jay? Come on, talk to me. Since when do you flinch when I touch you? Are you upset with me? What did I do?” Jensen questioned, his voice soft and comforting.

Jared hung his head, Jensen thought he was mad at him. “It’s not you Jen…”

Jensen dropped his hand and let out a shaky laugh “it’s not you it’s me?”

Jared shook his head “no... I mean it really is me…come back to my place... I’ll tell you everything okay?” He looked back up meeting Jensen’s eyes for the first time all week.

“You’re okay though?” Jensen’s eyebrows were etched together. He worried about Jared, with all the things he’s had going on. It wasn’t like him to pull away from Jensen. He pulled away from everyone, but not Jensen. _**Never Jensen**_.

“I’m okay, I promise it’s not like that, let’s go home.” He took Jensen’s hand in his own and headed for the bathroom door to find Cliff.

***

The two of them were sitting on opposite sides of the couch. Jared played with his own fingers nervously, trying to figure out what to say. He could see this all just going to shit.

Jensen scooted closer to him “Jared? Talk to me.”

Jared looked at him and took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “Remember that dream I had?”

Jensen smiled “about Dean…of course I do.”

Jared swallowed hard “right, Dean…” he shifted around and cleared his throat. “I was just… well I mean… I was thinking after the clothes came off...he’s just” he paused.

“He’s what?” Jensen waved his hand for Jared to continue.

Jared gulped and looked down at the floor “You…He’s just you.”

Jensen smirked at him “that’s a nice observation Jay, it took you long enough to notice that.”

“Jen…I had a sex dream about you! That doesn’t bother you even a little bit?”

Jensen placed his hand on Jared’s knee “I can’t say I blame you” he motioned over himself “I mean look at me.”

“Jensen. I’m serious” Jared’s voice started to shake.

Jensen straightened his back and softened his face. “Jared, I’ve had dreams about you too okay? But that’s what they are, just dreams… don’t pull away from me because of something like that, it scares me, I worry about you.”

Jared’s cheeks turned pink “you have?”

“Sure, any self-respecting straight guy can admit that you’re hot. Jay, we’ve spent 14 years in each other’s pockets, of course some lines are going to blur” Jensen shrugged.

Jared smiled.

Jensen leaned back on the arm of the couch letting his knees fall apart so he could look at Jared’s face. “So, do you feel better?”

“You think I’m hot?” Jared prodded.

Jensen kicked at Jared’s legs, leaving his feet over his lap “doesn’t everyone?” He said making it seem nonchalant.

“I don’t know…” Jared shrugged, tracing the hem on Jensen’s pant leg.

Jensen knew he wasn’t the most confident guy, sure he played it off like he was. But Jensen knew deep down he didn’t believe it. He sat up scooting forward, leaving his legs bent over Jared’s lap. “Jared, stop, you are an attractive dude, you’re smart, funny...” he ran his hand up Jared’s arm “you’re strong, and you have great hair” he laughed as he roughed it up.

Jared blushed “thanks...”

Jensen moved his hand to cup Jared’s cheek “I can’t say I haven’t thought about…” he looked down to Jared’s lips as he paused, laughing awkwardly. His breath hitting Jared’s face.

“Thought about what?”

Jensen took a deep breath “I’ve thought about kissing you, I know I shouldn’t want that, but we are so close…you’re my best friend it just seems right, like the right way to show you how much you mean to me”

Jared stared at him, not saying anything. Was this even happening?

“I just… sometimes hugging you isn’t enough, I want more. I want to _give you_ more” Jensen blushed as one of the stupidest things he’s ever said continued to fall out of his mouth. “Anyways…” he said scooting back to his original spot on the couch.

They sat there quietly for several minutes. Jared finally glanced over to see Jensen already looking at him.

“What’s going through your head Jay? I’m sorry I said all that.”

“Don’t be sorry, I know what you mean” Jared said carefully.

“Really?” Jensen messed with the bottom of his shirt.

Jared nodded “yeah, I get it. I should go to bed though, no chick flick moments, right?” He stood up and headed for the hallway “you can… I mean your old room is still there obviously, or you know you can stay with me, whatever you want.”

Jensen stood up and followed him, reaching out and grabbing his hand “Jay?”

Jared turned to face him, their eyes meeting “what’s up?”

Jensen smiled at him, pecking his lips softly. It was new and familiar at the same time, but very quick, gone too soon. “Goodnight” Jensen whispered.

Jared smiled and nodded down the hall “let’s go to bed, it’s probably cold downstairs anyways.”

***

They don’t talk about it, it just becomes a thing. Just an extra way to show each other  _'I got you'._

Hard day on set? Bro kiss. Tired? Bro kiss. Drunk? Maybe too many bro kisses. There is a silent agreement that it’s just for them, an unspoken rule and it never went any further than just a peck. Things had never been better between them.

***

The guys had invited some of the cast over to Jared’s for beers and BBQ.

Jared was standing on the deck flipping burgers. Jensen came up behind him snaking his arms around to his stomach and hooking his chin on his shoulder. “Hey” he whispered in to his ear “come inside with me for a second” Jensen’s voice sent chills down Jared’s spine.

Jared nodded following Jensen inside, through the kitchen and into the garage. “What’s up?” Jared asked him.

Jensen reached out to grab Jared’s beer from his hand setting it down on the washer next to his own. “I missed you” Jensen shrugged.

“I didn’t go anywhere” Jared smiled at him.

Jensen nodded “I know but… I still _miss you_ ” Jensen stated, drawing out the last two words.

“Oh” Jared smirked at him.

“Yeah, so… kiss me” Jensen mumbled, putting his hands on Jared’s hips.

Jared smiled. He leaned down and kissed him, letting his lips linger there for a moment longer than usual, before pulling away. Jensen pushed his back against the dryer looking over his face. Kissing him again.

Jensen bit down slightly on Jared’s bottom lip making Jared’s knees weaken. He could feel him slip down lower, bracing himself on the dryer. Jensen put his hands up the back of Jared’s shirt, scratching his nails lightly over his skin.  Jared let out a small moan as Jensen licked over his lip.

Neither one of them noticed the door had been opened “oh shit, I’m sorry” Misha stated rushing to close the door behind him.

Jared jumped pushing Jensen back “fuck, fuck! Jensen! What do we do?” Jared looked pale, like he had seen a ghost.

“Tell him the truth… it’s Misha” Jensen said unfazed.

Jensen left and came back a minute later with Misha in tow. “look guys it’s not a big deal, I’m not really surprised.”

Jensen waved his hands at him defensively “hang on, we’re not together or anything we just…” he glanced at Jared ‘ _we just what? We are just friends that kiss?’_

“Friends with benefits?” Misha suggested.

“No” they both answered at the same time.

“Okay, well everyone thinks you’re hooking up anyways… you don’t have to be so secretive” Misha pointed between them laughing.

Jared looked at Jensen for help.

“Mish... we’re not hooking up, we just kiss sometimes…as friends okay? There’s nothing else going on” Jensen tried to gauge his reaction. “don’t tell anyone.”

Misha laughed “okay, sure. I won’t tell anyone” he agreed, leaving the two of them alone in the garage.

“Who thinks we’re ‘hooking up’?” Jared said flustered, using his dramatic air quotes.

Jensen approached him lacing his fingers through his hands that were still up in the air, bringing them down to his sides. “it doesn’t matter what people think” Jensen crowded Jared against the wall.

“But Jen, what if...”

Jensen placed his lips over Jared’s to stop him from talking “shh, come here” He hushed, hooking his finger through Jared’s belt loop pulling his hips towards him, his back still pressed firmly against the wall. Jensen pushed his knee between Jared’s.

Jensen licked into Jared's mouth, rolling his hips forward into the taller man. Jensen let out a strangled moan, trying to hold it back and failing. Jensen's eyes shot open at the sound he made. He stepped back quickly, letting out a fake cough “um…sorry” his voice was hoarse. Jensen turned around adjusting himself and heading for the door.

***

“Hey Jen, who was Misha talking about? Who thinks were hooking up” Jared asked that night after everyone had left. It was really bothering him, he knew about the fans and the ‘shipping’, but he didn’t realize that members of their own crew thought any different about their relationship.

Jensen shrugged, tossing the remote down to the table, it slid into an empty beer bottle knocking It over with a loud bang. “Jared people are going to think what they want to think, just leave it alone!” annoyance laced it’s way through his words unintentionally.

Jared looked at him nervously, letting out a breath.

Jensen looked over him, and softened his face “I’m sorry Jay, but just stop worrying. I know what this is and so do you, that’s all that matters right?” he leaned over running his thumb across Jared's forehead “you’re going to get worry lines on your pretty face” Jensen pecked his friend’s forehead letting his lips linger there for a moment, both of their eyes falling closed. “let’s go to bed.”

Jared followed him to his room. Jensen pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed, standing between his knees. “You know I love you right?”

“Love you back” Jared smiled and nodded at him.

Jensen pecked the corner of his lips, his hands falling on Jared's knees. He studied his face carefully before kissing his cheek, then his jaw, his neck, and down to his collarbone.

“Can I take this off?” Jensen asked in a hushed tone, while pulling at Jared's shirt sleeve.

Jared nodded, looking over him slightly confused.   

Jensen pulled Jared's shirt over his head, and then his own. He traced the muscles on Jared's chest with his finger. Jensen glanced over Jared's face quickly before kissing his collarbone again, starting right back on the spot where he had left off. He made a trail down over Jared's chest before he pushed back lightly, asking him to lie down.

“Jen?” Jared questioned him cautiously. This was a whole new line they were crossing, and Jared had mixed feelings about it.

“Scoot back” Jensen said softly.

Jared did as he was told scooting back to the middle of his bed, watching as Jensen walked on his knees towards him. Jensen put his hands back on Jared's knees carefully pushing them apart before leaning between them and kissing over his neck again, this time with more tongue, letting his teeth scrape the sensitive skin there.

“Jensen what are you doing?” Jared was getting nervous, and hard. The last thing he wanted was for Jensen to lean down and feel that. He would probably freak out and leave.

“I’m kissing you, do you want me to stop?” he asked biting his own lip and waiting.

Jared's heart was pounding, of course he didn’t want him to stop. But everything in him was telling him he _should_ stop. He bit his lip and shook his head slightly. So slightly that Jensen didn’t notice. “no…” he breathed out.

“Alright…okay…fuck, you’re sure?” Jensen asked resting his hands on Jared's hips.

Jared nodded up at him. _sure of what? How far was this going?_

Jensen dove back down kissing his friend’s lips, one of his hands still resting on Jared's hip holding it tightly. “Jesus Jay” he said rolling his hips down into the younger man. Now Jared could feel it, Jensen was hard too.

Their tongues tangled together fighting for dominance, Jared moved his hands to rest on Jensen's lower back pulling him closer.

Jensen moved his mouth back to Jared's neck sucking a bruise into it. Causing Jared to buck his hips up into Jensen's, searching for friction.

“Fuck Jay you’re so hard” Jensen moaned bringing their lips together again, as he ground his hips down harder.

The two of them weren’t even kissing at this point, just panting into each other’s mouths. Rolling their hips together in sync. Both of their chests slick with sweat.

Jared wrapped his legs around Jensen's letting his ankles fall into the back of the older man’s knees, pulling him down harder “Jen I’m going to…”

“Do it” Jensen pushed forward harder “come” Jensen whispered into his ear.

Jared's body trembled, “Jensen!” he dug his nails into Jensen's back and moaned out loudly as he came.

“Fuck…Jay” Jensen's words were broken up as he came too, his arms coming out from under him. He let himself fall on Jared's chest. “Fuck… that was awesome, thanks man” he pecked his lips and rolled off him.

“Yeah… um thank you too?” Jared looked up at the ceiling confused.

“I’m going to take a shower okay?” Jensen leaned down and pecked his lips again before walking to the bathroom and shutting the door. Leaving Jared completely confused.

***

The next morning on set Jensen walked into Jared's trailer, kissed his cheek and wished him luck on his solo scene. Strolling back out as if they hadn’t just gotten off together the night before.

They were filming a basic episode today. So it all went smoothly, with no problems. Every once and a while they would get to leave early, or at least break for lunch on time. And lucky for them it was one of those days.

Jared decided to walk over to Jensen's trailer and maybe talk about what happened last night. As soon as his knuckles hit the door it was being flung open.

“Took you long enough” Jensen pulled him in by the front of his shirt. Slamming and locking the door behind them. He shoved Jared up against the cabinet. “I missed you” his voice still husky from being ‘Dean’ all day. He kissed over Jared's neck, biting at the bruise that was Jared’s only proof that what happened last night wasn’t just another dream.

“Wait... stop it, I just came to talk” Jared pushed him back wiping the spit from his neck “you’re going to get me in trouble with makeup again.”

Jensen sighed, adjusting the front of his jeans and throwing him self down on the couch “talk about what?”

Jared sat on the far end of the couch, trying to get some space between them “uhh… this” he stated. Pointing between the two of them.

“What about this?” he said pointing between them sarcastically mimicking his friend.

Jared threw his hands up “what is this? What happened last night?”

Jensen looked kind of hurt “what do you mean? Do you not remember?”

Jared shook his head glancing at the obvious bulge in Jensen’s jeans “oh no, I remember” he said biting his lip.

Jensen nodded, moving closer to him “so what’s wrong? Did you not like it? Cause the way you screamed my name when you came made me think you did” Jensen said suggestively.

The younger man sighed, cradling his head in his hands. “of course I liked it, but what are we doing and what about the girls?”

Jensen took Jared’s hands pulling them into his own lap “I really didn’t mean to take it that far it’s just…” he traced a finger over Jared’s jaw line, “when I kissed your jaw I got carried away…” Jensen looked up at him meeting his eyes “Jay, if you’re uncomfortable it won’t happen again.”

Jensen was scratching the back of Jared’s neck, and he was trying really hard not to actually start purring.

“How far are we letting this go?” Jared asked him, getting nothing but a shoulder shrug as a response. Jared thought about it for a second.

“Okay” Jared said leaning his head back against Jensen’s hand.

“Okay…?” Jensen asked not understanding what Jared meant.

Jared smiled and closed his eyes “yeah, it’s okay.”

Jensen practically growled “show me” he pleaded. “Show me you’re okay with it.”

Jared nodded moving to straddle Jensen on the couch. “Kiss me” Jared whispered against Jensen’s lips.

Jensen grabbed his face pulling him into a heated kiss, moving his hips up at the same time. “Fuck Jared”

Jared gripped the bottom of Jensen’s shirt pulling it off and tossing it behind himself. He looked over Jensen’s heaving chest before he moved to his neck biting at it lightly. Jensen moved his hand between them resting it on the button of Jared’s jeans giving him a moment to push his hand away or tell him to stop. But Jared didn’t say anything.

Jensen slipped the button open, sliding the zipper down before reaching his hands around pushing them into Jared’s jeans. squeezing his ass through his boxers and pulling him down into himself.

Jared moved to kiss him again, slipping his tongue into the older man’s mouth. He wrapped his long arms around Jensen’s neck clawing at his upper back.

Jensen bucked up. Using one of his hands to pull off Jared’s shirt before scratching his nails down his spine, leaving little pink trails. 

Jared moaned into his mouth, his thrusts becoming more and more sloppy “Jensen…” he breathed out.

Jensen pushed his hand down the front of Jared’s open jeans gripping him over his boxers “come for me” he breathed, biting Jared’s shoulder. “Come on baby.”

Jared lost it at that “Fuck Jensen!” Maybe it was the feeling of Jensen’s hand, or maybe it was the words Jensen just spoke. He didn’t know. All he knew is he was coming in his pants for the second time in two days.

Jensen gripped the top of Jared’s jeans along with his belt at his lower back, dragging him down into himself. “God Jay you’re so good” Jensen shouted spilling in his pants.

Jared waited for the awkward ‘thank you’ like he got last night but it didn’t happen. Instead Jensen laced his fingers through Jared’s hair and kissed him softly resting their foreheads together “I wish we didn’t have to go back, I wish we could just stay here.”

“Me too” Jared whispered.

***

After they had gotten cleaned up and headed back to set Misha quickly found them “guys…a word?” He mumbled pointing off set. Both of them looked at him confused, following him to a secluded area.

“What’s up Mish?” Jensen asked him with raised eyebrows.

“You know I don’t have a problem with you guys…um” he pointed between them “having sex, but I’m just letting you know if you’re trying to keep it a secret your doing a _screaming_ job at it if you know what I mean.”

Jared blushed “but we’re…”

“Yeah, yeah I know ‘you’re not’ having sex” Misha laughed making air quotes “I’m just saying, I could hear you screaming each other’s names, and if I can I’m sure other people can”

“Misha we’re really not…” Jared tried

Jensen put his hand up stopping him “alright, alright…” Jensen playfully hit Misha’s shoulder “thanks man, note taken.”

Misha walked away shaking his head.

Jared shoved Jensen lightly “dude, you can’t just let him think we’re fucking!” His voice came out slightly annoyed.

“It’s Misha, even if he tells everyone, they will think he’s kidding” Jensen shrugged “besides, we kind of are... aren’t we?” Jensen smirked, smacking Jared’s ass.

“I mean… not really?” Jared blushed.

Jensen shrugged again, seemingly unbothered. “we could be…” he whispered, kissing Jared’s cheek before turning on his heals and walking back to set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have a chance to have someone look over this before posting, so i hope its okay!  
> (let me know if you find anything so that i can fix it)


	3. I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend...

They had a whole week off due to poor weather conditions. Both of them flew back to Austin. The first couple of days were spent at home recovering from the plane ride. Relaxing, sprawled out on patio chairs, pool side at Jared's. Soaking up the sun while they could, if there was any downside to their job…it was the weather in Vancouver.

Jensen sat up glancing behind him through the large windows, making sure they weren’t being watched. Gen and Danneel were standing at the kitchen counter talking. Once he decided it was ‘safe’ he stood up, pushing lightly at Jared's shoulder “scoot forward” he whispered.

Jared looked up at him confused, but sat up and moved forward a bit, “what are you doing?”

Jensen moved his leg behind Jared, to straddle the patio bed. “Nothing…” Jensen replied, putting his hands on the younger man’s shoulders, rubbing at them.

Jared let his head fall forward, “oh man” he sighed. Sunshine, beer, and a massage… it didn’t get much better than this. Jared groaned loudly when Jensen tightened the grip on his neck, digging his thumbs into him. “mmm god Jen” Jared moaned loudly.

Jensen glanced behind himself again before wrapping his arms around Jared, pulling him back into his own chest. The sun-soaked skin on his friend’s back felt hot against his sunburnt skin.

“Why did you stop?” Jared complained.

The older man brushed Jared's hair out of the way, pressing a light kiss to his neck. “You have to stop making those noises babe you’re making me think bad things.”

Jared laughed lightly. “Like what?” he whispered, turning his head to the side meeting Jensen's eyes.

Jensen shifted his hips forward, pressing himself into Jared's back “I think you know” he whispered suggestively, running his hand down Jared's chest. Stopping to cup his dick through his swim trunks.

“mmm…Jensen…we can’t do this here” Jared groaned.

“Are you going to stop me?” Jensen questioned him before nipping at the skin on his friend’s neck.

Jared placed his hand over Jensen's moving it to his leg, “have to.”

“Damn it” Jensen growled, sinking his teeth in to Jared's shoulder.

Gen poked her head out to call them in for lunch, her fake gagging noises startling both of them. Jared stood up abruptly covering his shoulder. “You guys are disgusting.” She shot a glare at Jensen. “Do I even want to know? Lunch is ready by the way.”

“Thanks Gen” Jensen smiled back at her.

“Keep your hands to yourself Jensen.” Gen pointed a finger at him before heading back inside.

Jared was completely pale. “What the fuck, that was so bad!” He whispered harshly, sitting down on the edge of the patio chair, his tone came across very accusing.

Jensen placed a hand on Jared's thigh “relax, she’s not even mad. She was just kidding…it’s not like we were doing anything.” He stood up, grabbing Jared's hand to pull him up.

 Jensen glanced down and smirked “you might want to fix that, unless you want me to...” he stated, pointing down at the front of Jared's shorts.

Jared gritted his teeth. “I’ve got it.” He adjusted himself quickly and headed inside. Jensen was a few steps behind him grinning as he followed him into the house.

 

***

 

“We should just tell them...” Jensen had suggested in a whisper several hours later, after Jensen licked his finger and proceeded to wipe something off Jared's lip at the dinner table.

Jared cleared his throat “we will be right back” he announced, grabbing Jensen under the arm and dragging him into the hallway. “Are you crazy?” He whispered harshly.

“What? You would rather be a cheater without permission?” Jensen whispered back rushed.

Jared shook his head “NO! I didn't say that! It’s not cheating we’re not fucking and we're not going to” he spat, turning to head for the kitchen.

Jensen grabbed his arm and pushed him back against the wall “Jared you need to calm down! They will understand, trust me…” he tried.

Jared let out a breath he didn't know he was holding “yeah and what if they don't?”

Jensen shrugged, “are you ready to give this up?” he asked pointing between them.

Jared gulped _No! No! NO!_ of course he wasn't ready to give up whatever this was “I don't know…” Jared shook himself free from Jensen’s grasp and headed back into the kitchen.

 

***

 

“Did you guys workout your little lovers spat?” Danneel joked, making Jared choke on the wine he was currently chugging.

“Actually, about that…” Jensen chimed in.

“Jensen stop!” Jared interrupted, squeezing his knee under the table.

“Ouch Jay! What the fuck?” He yelped. “What is your problem?” Jensen raised his eyebrows at the younger man.

“Leave. It. Alone. Jensen!” Jared growled at him.

“Everything okay?” Gen asked confused, her eyes darting back and forth between the two men.

Jared sighed and shifted in his seat, rubbing a hand over his face. “Actually, no its not. I’m breaking up with you” he blurted out.

“No, no… he doesn’t mean it Gen, he’s just tired!” Jensen rushed, shooting a glare at Jared.

“Tell us what’s going on now!” Danneel shouted.

Jared hung his head looking down at his lap. He threw his hands up defeated.

Jensen cleared his throat, “I got drunk and kissed Jared, now he is freaking out”

Jared dropped his fork, his face twisting from anger to confusion. “What the fuck Jensen!”

“What? That’s the truth isn’t it? I kissed you, and now you’re all freaked out.” Jensen shrugged.

Both girls sat there watching them, looking between the men and then back to each other.

“You want the truth?” Jared yelled, throwing his napkin down to the table as he stood up. He pointed an accusing finger at Jensen. “This idiot kissed me, not once, several times and then we got off together! You want to know the worst part? I fucking liked it and I want to do it again. How’s that for the truth?”

Jensen opened his mouth, but no words came out, he was literally speechless. He offered the girls a dumbfounded shrug, tossing his hands up in the air as he thought to himself ‘ _well that just happened’._

The girls looked at each other and started laughing. Jared sat back down confused, willing his heart to stop racing.

“So that’s what this whole thing is about? You’re just messing around with each other?” Danneel spoke through her laughter.

Jensen and Jared shared a quick glance as Jared let out a shaky breath “uh... yes?” his voice came out higher than normal.

“Look, we knew you guys were close when we met you. It’s really no surprise to us…I mean look at you guys!” Gen said looking at the two of them sitting there with barely any space between them, before looking back to Danneel.

“What Gen is saying, is that we’ve always known you guys mess around with each other, and we get it... when you’re gone for 9 months out of the year and only have each other. The point is we would rather that, than have you out with other girls...everyone knows you guys are screwing.” Danneel shrugged.

“But we’re …” Jared tried to explain before Gen cut him off.

“Jared don’t, just don’t do it when you’re home okay? you have us here.” Gen said, folding her arms over her chest. She glared at Jensen “and Jensen, next time you put hands on him, don’t do it in front of a large window where we can both see you.”

Jensen gulped. “Right… sorry Gen”

 

***

 

Jensen gave Gen a hug, thanking her for dinner and apologizing again for earlier. Jared hugged Danneel, saying goodbye. He pulled back and looked over Jensen. He didn’t want him to leave. Sure, he was happy to be home, but he wanted Jensen to stay. Back at home Jensen had been staying with Jared every night for the last month. He was so used to him always being there. Sharing a bed with him, waking up to his sleepy face, bringing him coffee every morning. He suddenly felt lost.

Jensen met his eyes, he could tell Jared was upset. He opened his arms to him “come here, you’ll see me tomorrow okay?”

Jared wanted so badly to kiss him goodbye, but he knew he couldn’t. it wasn’t allowed and that made the whole thing feel 10x worse as he watched him walk out with Danneel.

 

***

 

Both men tossed and turned all night. It was a little after 2am when Jensen's phone vibrated on the nightstand.

Jay: “I can’t sleep…”

Jensen: “miss you too Jared”

Jay: “come get me….?”

Jensen: “get some sleep babe ACL tomorrow”

Jared smiled to himself. But, he still felt homesick. He knew in his heart it wasn’t Vancouver making him feel that way. It was Jensen.

 

***

 

The music was loud, the sun was hot, and the beer was ice cold. All of them were pretty tipsy already. Gen was hanging off Jared’s arm and Jensen was getting increasingly more annoyed by it. “Gen why don’t you girls go get some more beer?” he suggested. Gen glared at him and reluctantly walked away with Danneel.

Jensen put his arm around Jared's waist, whispering in his ear “Hi.”

Jared smiled at him as he draped his arm over the older man’s shoulder. “You okay Jen? It seems like you’re in a bad mood, headache?” Jared asked him.

Jensen scuffed and tightened his grip “it’s called being jealous” he grumbled as he pressed a kiss to Jared's shoulder.

Jared tensed. “We’re in public Jen” he scolded.

Jensen squeezed at Jared's side. “Okay… let’s go somewhere not so public” he whispered over Jared's ear.

“Jen… please, come on.” Jared sighed.

“No! You come on Jared; I miss you!” Jensen insisted.

Yeah, Jared missed him too. Even though he was standing right here next to him, he had to share him. While this week had been relaxing, he couldn’t help but think how much better it would have been if it was just the two of them. Jared smiled at him and patted his shoulder “later Jen.”

The girls returned with 4 beers. Gen immediately reattached herself to Jared. Jensen slammed his beer and walked away.

Jared's eyes followed him “where is he going?” he asked Danneel, receiving nothing but a shrug as a response. Jared shook his arm away from Gen’s grasp “I’ll be back.”

Gen glared at him “you’re not seriously going after him, are you?” she asked annoyed.

“Yes, Genevieve, I seriously am.” Jared threw his hands up at her and walked away frustrated.

Jared made his way through the crowd eventually finding his friend. “Jensen!” he yelled over the music.

Jensen turned around and marched towards him with determination. “Come with me, right now!” he growled as he grabbed Jared's hand, dragging him to the parking lot.

“Jen, where are we going? What is wrong?” Jared asked while being pulled to the car.

Jensen shoved him against the large SUV and crowded into him, caging him there with a hand on either side of his body. “She is _trying_ to piss me off!!” Jensen hissed, breathing heavy into Jared's face. Jensen moved to Jared's neck biting down hard on the sensitive skin. “you’re mine” he huffed out checking to see that he left a mark. “MINE.”

The taller man squirmed against him, his face heating up and his body completely betraying his better judgement.

Jensen licked over the bite mark. “There, now everyone can see who you really belong to.” He whispered into Jared's neck.

Jared leaned down, kissing his forehead lightly “feel better now? After marking your territory like a damn dog.” He smirked.

Jensen shrugged “not really.”

 

***

 

Several beers and some hard stuff later they were all back at Jared and Gen’s. It was getting late and Jensen's patience were wearing thin. With the massive quantity of alcohol coursing through his blood, his filter was more than long gone. He watched as Jared downed another shot spilling over half of it down his chin.

Jensen walked up behind him, turning the younger man to face him “baby you’re making a mess.” Jensen slurred, running his thumb over the droplets of whiskey.

Jared sucked in his own bottom lip biting at it as he watched Jensen lick the whiskey off his thumb.

Jensen pulled Jared's lip from between his teeth “don’t bite your lip baby, that’s my job.”  Jensen looked over him with a lustful hunger “fuck… Jay.”

Jared gripped Jensen’s hips tighter, pulling him closer. He forgot all about where they were and who they were with. The whiskey and Jensen clouded his mind as he leaned forward brushing his lips over Jensen’s.

Jensen pushed his hand up the back of Jared’s shirt scratching his nails over his spine.

Danneel cleared her throat making both of them jump back. Jared turned to face the girls, both of them looking confused and pissed off.

“I can’t do this anymore” Gen uttered out, heading for the stairs.

Danneel turned to follow her, stopping halfway “it never bothered us before…what you don’t see doesn’t hurt, but you may as well just fuck on the counter at this point.” She continued up the stairs shaking her head.

“What do we do?” Jared slurred, gripping the counter to stabilize himself.

Jensen shrugged, seemingly unfazed by the whole thing.

“I’m going to go talk to her, you should too” Jared started up the stairs with Jensen following close behind.

 

***

 

“Gen, I don’t know what to say” Jared spoke softly.

Gen shook her head “do you love him?”

Jared ran his hand through his hair nervously “I mean, of course I love him we’ve been friends for...”

Gen laughed sarcastically, cutting him off “you know that’s not what I mean Jared.”

Jared took a deep breath twisting his fingers through his hair again. “I um… Gen I…”

Gen pushed his hair back out of the way “What is this?” She flicked the teeth marks on his neck “this wasn’t here yesterday!”

Jared cringed, covering the mark with his hand. “Gen I’m sorry, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this…it wasn’t supposed to be this way, it just got out of control.”

Gen nodded, “I’m upset Jared. Really upset, and I think we need to break up. I’m not going to ask you to choose between us… I don’t want to hear the answer.” A tear slid down her cheek as she watched him. “Can you just get a hotel? I’ll get my stuff out of here before your hiatus starts okay?”

Jared looked at her with a soft expression, “I’m sorry Gen, you know that I love you…but you’re right, I’ll call Cliff.” He hugged her before walking out of the room, his bag slung over his shoulder.

Jared found Jensen and Danneel in the living room “Danni, could you please check on her?” Jared sighed.

Danneel stood up smiling down at Jensen who was still sitting on the couch “bye Jen…” she whispered, walking over to Jared “if you hurt him… I’ll come after you.”

“I wouldn’t dare, I promise” Jared smiled looking over her shoulder to Jensen. She smiled back and headed up the stairs.

“Cliff will be here in a minute, I already called we should wait outside” Jensen stood up not meeting Jared’s eyes.

 

***

 

Once they got to the hotel lobby Cliff held out two key cards. Jared shook his head at him, pulling one of the cards out of his hand “just one… staying with Jen if that’s okay?” He glanced at his friend waiting for an answer. Jensen nodded, readjusting the bag on his shoulder.

Cliff looked between them “oh, I’m sorry I got two single king suites, I can have them change it…”

Jensen smiled at him, “a single is fine, thanks Cliff.”

Cliff nodded and watched as the men headed for the elevator.

 

***

 

Jared flung his shoes off and tossed his bag down. “Well this is unexpected” he huffed out, throwing himself down on the bed.

“Is it?” Jensen asked, picking up Jared’s shoes and placing them neatly by the door next to his own. He pulled his shirt off draping it over the back of a chair before removing his jeans and doing the same with them.

Jared watched him, his eyes fixated on the prominent ‘V’ shape of Jensen’s lower abdomen, almost forgetting to respond. “I mean… yeah kind of.”

“I don’t know Jay, it was bound to happen at some point, Danni even said the same thing” Jensen said honestly.

“So, you’re okay than?” Jared questioned him.

Jensen crawled up the bed, stopping to unbutton Jared’s jeans “I’m more than just okay Jared” he raised his eyebrow at him, as he pulled the jeans off and tossed them on the floor. Jensen pulled Jared up by his forearms and removed his shirt. Kissing his chest “this whole trip all I have wanted was to get you alone, and now here we are.”

 Jensen pushed Jared down on to his back, his hands not leaving his chest, lightly tracing the outline of his abs.

Jared sighed as he watched Jensen lean over the top of him.

“The whole time I was _with_ her I was thinking about you” Jensen pushed his hand down Jared’s side moving to squeeze his ass cheek “what it would be like to be _with_ you, to have you under me instead of her.” Jensen kissed the mark he had left on Jared’s neck.

Jared let out a shaky breath, as he felt a pang of jealousy. “Jen…”

Jensen kissed his lips roughly, panting into his mouth “god Jay, I couldn’t stop thinking about being buried in you, all the noises you would make…”

Jared was speechless as Jensen’s words continued to pour out over his lips.

“Do you think about it baby? What that would feel like? To have my dick in you?” Jensen continued, rolling his hips down.

Jared gulped, of course he thought about it. But he didn’t want it to happen like this. Not drunk in some hotel room, after they both had just gotten thrown out of their own houses.

Jensen scratched his nails down Jared’s chest biting at his collarbone “answer me!” He demanded.

“Yes… but...not like… Jen…” Jared squeaked.

“I want you so fucking bad Jared, so fucking bad” Jensen reached down between them pulling at Jared’s boxer briefs.

Jared immediately covered Jensen’s hand with his own pulling it off his boxers “you’re drunk Jensen…stop it.”

Jensen huffed out a breath and rolled off him “yeah, alright” he tried to hide the disappointment in his voice, but it wasn’t successful at all.

Jared turned to face him, running his hand over Jensen’s face “Jen it’s not that I don’t want to, just not like this…”

Jensen smiled weakly at him “yeah I get it…” he let his eyes fall closed.

“You’re upset….” Jared spoke looking over his friend.

Jensen shook his head, meeting Jared’s eyes “I’m not upset… I just…I want everything with you…I got carried away, I’m sorry.”

Jared understood. But, he knew what the word ‘everything’ meant to himself, he wanted everything with Jensen too. He just needed to be sure ‘everything’ meant the same thing to Jensen.

“Me too, just… when we’re sober okay?” Jared pressed a kiss to his forehead “you’re my best friend, I don’t want to screw this up.”

Jensen half smiled “yeah… you too.”

“Goodnight Jen…” Jared whispered.

Jensen didn’t respond right away, instead he waited until Jared’s breath was evenly ghosting over his own chest. He brushed Jared’s hair off his forehead and whispered “goodnight Jay, I love you”

 

***

 

The flight home was as expected, long and exhausting. Both of them were hung over and sun burnt, that wasn’t helping the situation.

Jensen stood on the door step waiting for Jared as he said goodbye and thank you to Cliff.

“I guess I should make you a key huh? since you basically live here again…” Jared laughed lightly as he glanced at Jensen who appeared to be freezing to death.

Jensen shrugged at him; he couldn’t care less about a key right now. He just needed to get through the door, throw his crap down and tell Jared how he felt. That key probably wouldn’t be an option after Jared knew the truth.

Jared unlocked the door and they both set their stuff down. Jensen took Jared’s hand and pulled him to the couch “we need to talk Jay…”

Jared’s heart sank, this was it. This was the end of it. Jensen was going to tell him this was all a huge mistake that went too far. Jensen would tell him they could still be friends…but they would both know that’s not true.

“What’s going on?” Jared asked him, tears threatening to spill over.

“First of all I’m really sorry about last night…” Jensen met his friend’s eyes.

Jared gripped his hands “don’t be…I just didn’t want you to regret it” he forced an awkward smile.

Jensen nodded “I know, I’m glad you stopped it, I wasn’t thinking…” Jensen’s voice was unsteady.

“Right… because it would have ruined our friendship…?”  Jared asked, even though he knew it was already ruined. His stomach twisted, he felt like he was being dumped.

Jensen shook his head “that’s just it Jay… I don’t want to be _‘friends’_ with you” Jensen put his hands up making air quotes around ‘friends’.

Jared’s heart shattered as he nodded blinking out tears “fuck. Okay yeah… I knew this was a bad idea… Jensen I can’t… I can’t fucking lose you as my friend… please.” Jared pleaded, frantically wiping the tears off his own face.

Jensen looked up at him, his eyes wide with shock “whoa whoa whoa Jay… Jared stop. You’re taking this all wrong.” Jensen rushed, reaching out to cup Jared’s cheek “Jared, I don’t want to be _just friends_ with you…I’m in love with you…” Jensen paused and looked at Jared’s confused expression. “Jared when I said I wanted everything with you, I meant _everything_. And I’m glad you stopped me last night, because if you woke up this morning and changed your mind I don’t think I could have handled it. I need to be honest with you Jay, this hasn’t been a _‘just friends’_ thing for me for awhile now, and I knew that in my heart… but Danneel told me she’s always known I’m in love with you, and I guess… it took me a second to realize that was true.” Jensen looked up the the ceiling willing himself not to cry “Jared… the thing is if you don’t feel the same… we can’t keep doing this… we have to stop it…everything, we can still be friends Jay, I just… I’ll need some time, you understand right?” Jensen’s words trailed off as he prepared for Jared to tell him it was all over.

“You’re in love with me?” Jared paused, looking back up at Jensen’s watery eyes “you’re sure?”

Jensen turned himself on the couch bringing one leg up under himself, so he could face Jared “yeah Jared I’m sure…” Jensen looked down at his hands shaking in his lap.

Jared smiled “what a bunch of girls…” he laughed as Jensen stared at him confused. “God damn it Jensen I thought you were breaking up with me! Of course I feel the same!” Jared took Jensen’s hands in his own “fuck Jen, I think you just broke my heart and rebuilt it…all in less than 5 minutes.”

Jensen blushed and smiled at him “I’m sorry Jay, I didn’t mean to.”

Jared gripped Jensen’s face “I love you Jensen”  he whispered before kissing him “I love you so much” he said again, louder, making sure Jensen heard him.

Jensen stood up holding out his hand, a huge grin plastered on his face.

“What are you doing?” Jared looked up at him.

Jensen grabbed his hand and pulled him up to his feet “I’m taking my boyfriend to bed.”

“Your boyfriend?” Jared bit his lip, holding back a smile.

“Yeah Jay… my boyfriend.”            

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this story and the names of the chapters are all lyrics from FallingForYou by: The 1975. check it out if you would like, its a great song and somewhat inspired me to write this. I started a video with the song to go with the fic I just haven't finished it yet.  
> I hope you all enjoyed it. As always, please let me know if you find any mistakes so that i can fix it.  
> Also, I'm sorry it took so long to finish this thing and I'm sorry it's so short. I had to write it all out in a notebook because my computer died. I just finally got a new one so I was able to type it all out.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave me constructive criticism, I would rather someone let me know something is wrong so I can fix it as apposed to having it just stay that way.  
> Thanks in advance!


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